a child is a curly dimpled lunatic |
A catalog of funny things my kids have done or said, because I never remember this stuff as long as I think I will. |
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Quote
"You can never take a telescope and look at the sun during the day, because you wouldn’t have eyes, you would have two over-easy eggs."
Norah
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Notes"Nothing plus everything equals anything."Ethan
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Chat
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NotesEthan: This morning in the bathroom I saw the coolest thing ... in the mirror. Norah: Was it the guy next to you? -
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"Here, you’ll see my great white shark, which I trained to fly. He catches eagles and I roast them."
Ethan, doing his Bear Grylls impression
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Waitress to Ethan: You are the spitting image of your dad. Ethan: That's unfortunate. -
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"That looks pretty good, eh, ya filthy Canadian."
Ethan watching HGTV
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Photo
Unicorns? Farts? Sounds like Norah.
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Notes Morning routineMe: Norah, did you brush your teeth? Norah: No! I have to do something first! Me: What's that? Norah: Shake my booty. -
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Notes Playing the animal guessing gameBrent: Is it a mammal? Ethan: Yes. Me: Does it live on land? Ethan: Yes. Norah: IS IT A LAND DOLPHIN?! -
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NotesNorah: Mommy, what if I die young? Me: Oh honey, you won't die young. What made you start worrying about this? Norah: I've been seeing a lot of commercials for "Monsters Inside Me".
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Woman: I'm smartPatriarchy: Well you're probably ugly thenWoman: I'm creativePatriarchy: You mean unattractive right?Woman: I have all these incredible accomplishments... ...
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I never posted a picture of my new tattoo.
Welp, here it is.
Needs to be touched up soon
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Garage sale gold.
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Depression Part 2 by Hyperbole and a Half is the most important thing you’ll read all day.
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Beat my goal by 10 minutes! Today’s #workout was brought to you by #blink182 and #revocation. #happy and getting #healthy
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Open Letter to Nielsen and the JG-TC Editorial Board
This week, my hometown paper (JG-TC in Mattoon, IL) published an opinion piece in the sports...
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I don't want to have to compromise my morals in order to make a living
i dont want my words to be taken out of context
i dont want to be...
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watch this video. it is only one minute and it will make you very very happy :)
You’re right; it does...
